Eat Dessert First is for my love of food and sharing my favorites with you.

Hi, I’m Lillie. Previously a magazine editor, I became a full-time mother and freelance writer in 2017. I spend most of my time with my kids and husband over at The Brown Bear Family.

Happiness Isn’t Hope (Part I)

There was a time when I was happy. But happiness is a fading thing. Along with other emotions – the bad ones too – it comes and goes, all the while making you think they will stay forever. From happy to sad, from sadness to anger, from anger to absolute exhaustion, bitterness and sometimes forgiveness. … Continue reading Happiness Isn’t Hope (Part I)

Depression Firsthand

I looked at the hospital discharge packet. The doctor had me listed as a patient who had “depression.” I’m not sure why but seeing it on paper made it that much more real. A couple of months after I had my son I began experiencing intrusive suicidal thoughts. What alarmed me was not merely the … Continue reading Depression Firsthand

The Trail Ahead

Written July 7, 2020. Edited January 4, 2021. The year is 2020 and the COVID pandemic has reportedly claimed the lives of over 1.68 million people worldwide. Believe it or not, it’s been the least of my worries. The past few years have been trial-some, but this one is doing a number on me. If … Continue reading The Trail Ahead

Alone No More

Lounged on a couch with your unbroken gaze Disappearing at the end of our nights Your living compass; a desirable chase Strung in the middle of Christmas lights Within every scene and tangled inbetween: an embrace, you caressed my deepest despairs One smirk only yours could get out of me would turn into tears at … Continue reading Alone No More


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